New Door Fully Polished

Old Doors

We are aware that when a new door opens an old one closes. When the old one closes we tend to try to leave it open just a tad so that if what's behind the new door isn't what we expected we can retreat back through the old door. It is very difficult to completely walk through the new door and leave the old one behind but we need too. The new door would not have opened if the old one wasn't old and warn out; the hinges creek, the paint is faded and chipping and the lock doesn't work. It just isn't a pretty sight any more.

New Door New Beginning

A new door has opened what do we do? Do we jump into it? Do we carry our bride over it? Do we peek in and see what is going on? What do we do?

For most this is a very daunting decision that takes them on a roller coaster ride through turmoil and dissension.

New Beginning Without Chaos

Let's not go to the roller coaster ride to start with. Let's control what we change and what we don't change at this very moment. We know we have a lot of change coming and we are convicted to make the changes but do we have to do it all at the same time? No!

Here's how we can do this without our heads exploding.

1. Recognize that change in imminent no matter how we like or dislike our life. We need to be satisfied with where we are at right now. We are successful at what we have been doing no matter what it is. If we accept this we are good to go to the next step. Acceptance of our current situation does not mean we like it and it doesn't need change; it means that we are not mad at ourselves anymore for what we have done (old doors).
2. Get a fresh journal book from the dollar store and find the perfect spot for it. This spot is always the same no matter what, day or night, when you go looking for it it is there. This may be the only part of your life that will be stable at this moment so make sure you put that book back in its spot every single time. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
3. You are going to begin writing what in your life you do not like. Take your time with this because you may end up putting something in there that you will have to erase but if you use a pencil your good to go. Don't worry about fixes right now or other people just write the stuff you do not like. We are not going to jump all over these and fix them over night we are just going to write them down. AND DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR THEM EITHER. REMEMBER WE ARE IN ACCEPTANCE MODE RIGHT NOW.

This my lovelies is the April Challenge.

Spend the month of April writing and reflecting with this list and by the end of the month you should have a clear picture of how your life needs to change. I know that you are going to want to get started but don't. This is very personal and very time consuming. When you can see the whole picture it will be much clearer but if you get started before you see the whole picture you may make more mistakes. I want you to know that some of the stuff that you are intending to change may be bad because of something else that needs changing and you will see that with a complete comprehensive list and not before that.

4. Prioritize your list from small problem to biggest to fix. Spend the last week of April prioritizing your list. Ask yourself the questions:

• Who is effected by this problem?
• When did this go south?
• Where was I in my life when this happened?
• What was going on at that time? What happened?
• Why did this happen?
• How much time will this take to fix? Little, some, lots? (don't over think this) We are just determining time for the prioritizing.
• Do I need help? Who can help? Am I on my own?
• Any other question you deem feasible to get to the truth.

What we are doing when we prioritize is we are helping ourselves become more aware of what is going on in our lives and what it is going to take to fix it. This is ultimately our goal - to fix our messes. We cannot fix someone else's messes but we can fix our own and see what effect that has on someone else.

For those of you who attended the LYS March 29th Workshop I introduced a new part called A Bouquet of Boundaries in where we discussed setting boundaries so we can teach people how to treat us. We discussed that we can only change ourselves and establish boundaries in which we can show people what we will tolerate and what we will not. So we can teach people how to treat us but we can not change their behaviour. In the teaching we can hope that their behaviour begins to change. We will always have people in our lives that will refuse to treat us the way we expect to be treated but how we react to them will make the difference regarding how they will treat us in the coming years. So what I am tryng to say is DO NOT PUT PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST PUT SITUATIONS. Situations we can fix people we can't.

So lets recap April's challenge - we are going to have a fresh book in a great location and write a list of issues that we have in our lives that we are not happy with. Then we are going to ask ourselves some key questions in the last week and prioritize our list so that we will be ready for May's challenge.

In May we are going to start wearing out the door nob in our new doors but we are not going to close all of our old doors because we need to peek back and see what lessons we need to learn from the path's that led up to the new doors.

We are in acceptance mode so we are choosing joy every day. If we choose joy over anxiety we will be free to make changes and not worry about the results just yet. It is very difficult to make change and you will want to go back through the old doors but don't. Be patient and persistent because the end result will only lead to success.

Wishing you joy always,

Kathleen